Success is often the name given to the issue people seek assistance for. This can be closely accompanied by the desire for Happiness too. Are the two the same thing? Are they related or linked? Or are they completely separate.
The answer is maybe all of these or one or two of these. It depends on the person. I prefer to believe that Happiness is a transient state of mind that is influenced to a degree by success.
Success in my thinking is a complex entity with as many definitions as people existing on this planet. Success is unique to the individual and then varies for each of the contexts of their life. For example success in business is different from success in profession, or marriage, or parenting, or football, or health, or education and so on. Often a person may think success is something like reaching a high rung on the corporate ladder only to find that when it was reached that family and marriage and friendships were lost, collapsed or disappeared and with it happiness.
So, you want success? And I will ask, “What is success for you?” I will also ask after you answer this, “Are you sure that this is success for you and not the expectations of your family, peers, or culture?”
From my own experience, I had taken on a belief from my father that required I have a company car in my position if I was to be a success at work. He pointed out that both my brothers had got one (as I recall) on nearly every phone call we had. Having adventured into the learnings of NLP at about that time, I recognised the impost of this belief on my life. I decided to put it to rest by moving past it altogether. I started a business got an ABN and organised a company car for myself; after all I was a director and owner of a business. I rang Dad. “Hey guess what?” I began, “I got a company car in my new job”.
And so we need to explore who we are and why we are the way we are. We need to assess where we came from, the values and beliefs that we hold as a result of our path to now, and what is useful and what is not.
By consciously determining what success means for us at this moment (yes, it can change as you grow) we can set our path forward.
Our success then, IS, achieving our goals.
When our goals are set up well and consider the whole of our life and are congruent with our values we can get great outcomes and probably some happiness or at least contentment to go with it.
Whoops, I mentioned Values just then. These are a bit like success, we need to look at what we value, where we got them from and if we really want them or need new ones even. Just like for Success, are these values OUR values or are they the expectations from Family, peers cultural background etc? I will explore this in another ‘chapter’.